I am 19 years sober from alcohol, I also had a bought with Cocaine! I am blessed to be alive considering the abuse and and auto wrecks! I am here only by the grace of my mothers prayers! I never felt as if I where that person @pptrsha1, Thanks to you lady I can see a different me, I was not as bad as I thought! I have not had the urge for several years but still remember how hard it is to refuse the impulse @Blue89, If you need to talk brother there are a bunch of us here to listen, who want nothing more than for you to be whole again.
11 Likes
I appreciate everything from everyone and thank you for the kind words brother much love
9 Likes
Thats awesome @Enlightened420 injuries and pain is what got me into starting to study massage. I too fell from a great height on to my shoulder and neck when young.
Snapped my serratus anterior muscle kayaking in the mid 90s put me out of action for 10 years and these days i still struggle with that pain and 5 years ago i prolapsed 2 of my lower L4 L5 discs
That stopped me from walking for 3 months.
The pain was unbearable and think its never going to change at the time.
Im tall that doesnt help and have always done physical hard labor for work.
So as a therapist when people came to me i knew about there pain usually and with my study of the bodies anatomy for 2 full years i helped a lot of people over 8 years in practice working on the spiritual physical mental and emotional states.
Im glad you found your therapist that helped.
I remember going to a Chinese acupuncturist once. Room full of moxa he spoke very little english and he working on me and he says you very hard worker.
I began to cry it was the first time any one had acknowledged that in me.
I let a lot of unknown stress in that moment go i didnt know i had.
8 Likes
Thank you for sharing everyone.
It is very meaningful knowing we are not aloneā¦ Thank you 
Iām taking things one day at a time, being pain free for the last few days has been a huge blessing,
I will continue TCM treatments as directed, she knew I came from a different town, but still insisted I get consecutive massages for 2 weeks, so I know she was more concerned about my health, than making money, which means a lotā¦
@Blue89, thank you for sharing, stay strong Gromie we are with you 
P.S I know the feeling
@Blackmoon 
8 Likes
Im hearing that through your messages @Enlightened420.
May your pain free days continue.
The main purpose of the body is to heal itself.
Some times we just need to get out of the way other times it just needs some direction from the outside to nudge it in the right direction.
And time.
Not our minds time but its own time our bodys own healing time.
Very different time lines.
Mind wants to just fix it body says this gunna take some time.
6 Likes
Letās bring the discussion back hereā¦ P.S if religion isnāt your thing, best look away now, Iām about to get deepā¦
@Bulldognuts @kaptain3d @repins12 @Dman1969 @Cannabian
Thank you my friends I am in need of your positive vibes, love and advice.
Bulldognuts in answer to your response:
donāt watch mainstream TV,
donāt have Fakebook, donāt read newspapers or do any form of social media, other than Weedville, this is the 1st forum I have contributed inā¦
I wanted to clarify what was posted in my journal. I meant exactly what I wrote, currently I feel as if I am drowning in the worldās despairā¦
I see it in my dreams, I feel/sense it when I am awake, I see it on peopleās faces, hear it in their words, it disturbs my meditation, breaking my harmony and peace with huge waves of despair/darknessā¦
I humbly ask for clarity, guidance, strength of endurance, protection and wisdom, please fill my vessel with purity and lightā¦
Grant me the power to disperse all negative energies and entities within meā¦
I call upon the 7 names of God
Tetragrammaton-El-Elohim-Eloah-Elohai-El Shaddai-Adonai
As within, so without
As above, so below
Amen
9 Likes
So do Iā¦ But, the way I see it, I have 2 choices open to me.
Either I do like everyone and despair (for some valid reasons, Iām certain) and keep the chain going.
Or I can hold my head up high. Smile with my eyes (because Iām wearing a damn mask 
) try to help those I can. We canāt hug but we can always share a laugh, and thatās a bonfire 
in the nightā¦
These dark times will pass eventually, let our actions bring good memories in the futureā¦
I hope I make some senseā¦ 
9 Likes
OK, just wanted to put that out there for you and anyone who might be getting anxiety from the constant negativity on the news. Iāve talked to a couple of people that have said that the news depresses them. I told them to just turn it off.
Clearly thereās a lot of problems that canāt be easily solved. But I also see a lot of good. I believe that I see it on this forum everyday. Iāve never been involved on a forum before this and I donāt believe that thereās very many like it. So hopefully just being here helps. I donāt want to make it seem like happiness is easy, but I donāt judge things on happiness. Happiness is fleeting and can evaporate quickly. I get up everyday and hope for contentment. Contentment is what we should be striving for. I donāt know if Iām making sense but if I am then I have found some contentment in my life tonight. There is light all around you, open your eyes and it will be there.
9 Likes
Of course I know in my heart you are completely correct Kap,
that is how I normally live my life,
it is also how I can see the tell tale signsā¦ Depression is an evil foe.
@shindig153 weāre over here nowā¦
Each of you are shining lights
With all of your help, I will rise above and conquer my current battle and continue my journey along the path to Enlightenment.
Thank you friends
8 Likes
You are a shining light 
Also My Brother ! Iām sorry but words are failing me at the moment! You are in my prayers! 
8 Likes
Just wanted to drop in and say.
13 Likes
Thank you Cody, Darrell, @jjs
I love you guys to
I meant to do an update, but havenāt been in the right head space,
look what slipped throughā¦
I how you hide in plain sight,
Thanks brother
13 Likes
Thatās whatās up My Brother!!! 
Drop them beans and letās get this party 
started!!
Keep on keeping on! I hope you have a great day! The glass is half full not half empty! 
11 Likes
are those what I think they are?
3 Likes
And i feel you, I went through about 8 months straight of feeling like nothing mattered, it was a hard hole to get out of but once I did I felt a new appreciation for the things in my life that were going well, and I feel like Iāve been humbled by the whole experience. Hope you get out of that rut soon brother!
8 Likes
@Enlightened420 I had a friend call me yesterday 10-3 whom I had not talked to in a while! He is a very religious man and the epitome of what most would think is right in his walk. He said he woke that morning and said he felt he had to call me and tell me a story of a convict who has been in prison for thirty years that had sent him a letter that had one verse Psalms 118 verse 6!
He said he did know the specifics of why he was compelled to call me, but the conviction was so strong ,as if it where very urgent. I could not put it together until I read you last few posts just now and I had this overwhelming feeling to pass this along because I think you are the intended recipient! there are many translations of course, the NKJV says, The LORD is on my side; I will not fear. What can man do to me.
Do with this what you will my frind!
8 Likes
No such thing as a life thats better than yours ā¦ 
Too all my peepsā¦
We make our strugglesā¦
Dont let them make youā¦
You will never have enough timeā¦
Fight for every minute and make this moment yoursā¦
No doubts , no restrictions and no regretsā¦
Be us , be youā¦
All is one and one is allā¦
Lovin all of you , good vibes too aaalllllllā¦
13 Likes
@Enlightened420,
I am sorry that lifeās demons have you out of balance. Please know that you are not alone, and we are here for you. You have the power to make things better in your life. It may not seem that way now, but I believe we all are a lot stronger than we think, and donāt know until we have to draw upon it. How does Cody get through his horrible accident? How did i survive cancer when at least 20 others that didnāt make it got the exact same treatment? Some might say it was God. I would never say that because I have always thought that there were others more deserving to live than me. Just as you grow life from a seed, you can steer your way back to more of how you want it to be. We will defeat your demons so you have the life you deserve to have. Peace be unto all 9f you this evening.
7 Likes