The "I got so stoned..." thread


#142

Me and my friend smoked a blunt one day after he hadnt smoked in years he got so stoned he stared at a wall not moving or talking may not have even blinked for over 2 hours then finally looked at me and said I’m high as !@#$ lol


#143

So watching tv last night and paused the tv to do something and when I sat down To return to show I forgot I paused the tv so I waited for something to happen and waited and waited and waited. Then wife ask what was going on then I realized I paused the tv. Duh :roll_eyes:


#144

Hahahahahaha good one Ernie


#145

One fine day in the seventies I got stoned with a buddy and got on my bike to cruise for a while on the Rock Creek Bike Path (I was living near Rockville Maryland at the time) :biking_man:

~ next thing I knew I was in front of the Lincoln Memorial at a hot dog stand - and it was getting DARK! :roll_eyes:


#146

This was probably 20+ years ago but still funny. Me and a large group of friends were sitting around getting lit when one asked what time it was. Me being the helpful person tells them the time. That’s when they all started laughing. When I asked what was so funny they tell me that was a hour or more ago they asked. And someone had already answered as well.


#147

I got so stoned last night that I completely destroyed my cannabutter. I was experimenting with sunflower lecithin and completely disregarded the whole phospholipid aspect, went into robot mode, and dumped WATER through my weed when straining! :confounded:

But anyway, I’m so effing stoned that I still don’t realize what I’ve done yet… but I’m super pissed about the fact that dumping water seemed to randomly force this brown crap (which I later figured out was caused by me adding water, and thus creating a lecithin/weed/water mix) down into my butter, that just moments prior was looking immaculate.

I quickly remembered why I don’t experiment while stoned, but couldn’t remember smoking. Then I remembered my dank ass batch of chocolate chip banana muffins that I had sampled about an hour earlier. All of a sudden this brown dripping goo starts resembling something out of Ghost Busters II and it seems to be oozing out of my potato ricer in super slow motion. I have no idea how long I stood there.

Fast forward to me scooping out as much of the “impurities” as possible, and I put it in my fridge and waited for it to solidify. Correction… I THOUGHT I was waiting for it to solidify.

Flustered and baked like a 7-layer cake, I keep checking on the butter every 30 mins or so to see how it’s going. I still have no clue that I am waiting for something that can never happen at this point…

Several hours later, my muffin is wearing off. I’m really letting my gears spin trying to figure out what the hell had just happened. Then all of a sudden…

SCIENCE

The part of my brain harboring my years of science education emerged from the fog. I just added phospholipids to butter and water… That shit was NEVER going to solidify.

So now I’m all bummed out and depressed about my stoned stupidity. I pack myself a bowl and sat outside on my deck with my bong to pout. A few moments later, I had smoked some pep back into my step! I had this brilliant idea!

I took to the kitchen, a stoned silly mess. I grabbed the box of Cheerios that I had shoved to the back of my pantry after finding out my family was slowly getting murdered by pesticides. I poured it into my giant bowl of aquacannabutter and began to mix. I was so excited to share my idea with my husband who was working away on the couch.

“Babe! It’s not a waste after all! I’m going to make edibles for ALL the animals in the woods!”

You’re …WHAT?

“Babe… picture it… Sicily 1912… you come home from work, you come out to your backyard and what do you behold?! THOUSANDS of different species of animals, gathering together, in OUR backyard, singing in perfect harmony!”

How much weed did you smoke?

“And WHY!!! Because of my delicious animal edibles!!!”

I decided that I was going to go spread the love ALL around the border of my yard near the woods… but it was 11:30pm, I was high as a kite, and the thought of walking around the dark, by myself, bordering the woods freaked me out. I asked my husband to come with me, and I could immediately tell that he was annoyed at my antics at this point. I decided to brave it alone…

4 or 5 paces out, I got spooked and darted back into the house. The bowl is still on my island this morning.

TLDR - I got so stoned that I was afraid to feed the woodland creatures my accidental edible mush.


#148

Gimme some milk, I’ll try it lol


#149

Today, I was wearing my shirt backwards for several hours, before I noticed. I almost left the house like that, too!