The 12 days of Christmas testimonial and essay contest


That was awesome and hilarious! Well done.


Thank you for a nice reply like that. That was very cool of you to do. I appreciate it. I’m glad to hear about you and your father. there’s a lot of people out there that don’t have a supporting cast as good as we do. Specifically our fathers.
I think that’s where things like this ilgm forums can really come in to play… by helping people not only for obtaining the medicine that is helping them to live or increasing their quality of life but also as just a “soundboard” to talk to people. I love this site and the people here seem to be operating on a different level from any other website I visited. This site and the members are truly a class act. Thanks for the help in the past, present, and definitely in the future :grin:


I just burned through a full days allotment of “Likes”.

No testimonial or essay today. Reading what all of you have written has lifted me higher than I have been in a long time. (except maybe at 4:20)

Thanks each and everyone of you for placing your vulnerable feelings out there That takes a lot of courage and I’m glad each and every one of you has chosen to join us here at the ILGM forums! :+1::v::palm_tree::grinning: :santa::christmas_tree:


@bob31 youre def one of the people who makes this site so great. I see the amount of time you put into helping others ans going the extra mile! Hats off to you sir!


well said my friend


Awesome @TDubWilly. Very creative!!!


ILGM Testimonial

“For the 12 days of Xmas, Robert has OK’d the idea of asking members to right testimonials about our products, and why the products helped them We are also asking for essays explaining how a product or products might be beneficial to you and help with your physical afflictions.”

I could go way back to age 15 to explore why Marijuana became my first love. I don’t see the need or the relevance given that I found ILGM in May 2017 and that had little to do with why I started to think this substance was so wonderful.
I’ve done my share of using for the sake of being cool, escaping reality or just killing time. As I matured, earned a college degree and began to settle into adulthood, I realized I just performed more consistently while under the influence of THC.
Anxiety had always been something that was debilitating to me however; I rarely struggled with it and most of my friends, family and work peers relied (and still do) on my steadfast and consistently calm approach to most of life’s curve balls. Death of a parent, loss of a job, unexpected child, divorce, disease you name it, if it approached a crisis, call Screwauger.

What no one saw or knew (except perhaps my former spouse), was that all of this was an “eminence front;” a put-on a false-face if you will. Without using marijuana every couple of hours more or less, I was a complete basket case. Fraught with anxiety and guilt, feelings of body dysmorphia and other silly/serious warped self-perceptions ruled my thoughts and resulted in a less than whole, inadequate feeling of internal angst. I always told others who asked, “how can you get high so much?” that unlike most people, I used marijuana “to get straight.”
What I finally realized at about age 25 was, that these feelings only surfaced and became problematic when I was unable to get my marijuana either because of available funds or lack of availability in my rural upbringing. I even wrestled with the concept of being a drug addict (as my ex-spouse used to call me) because I became so unstable when I did not have my marijuana. Typically, I would have insomnia very bad, loss of appetite, extreme angst and anxiety with ADHD type symptoms whenever “the score” became problematic.
I soon realized that the only solution was to be self-sufficient, so in 1994 I constructed a two room grow operation in my basement. Life was awesome for several years, until it wasn’t. In 1998 we had a severe Ice Storm (17 days without power and utilities with two kids under age 12). I lost my crop, I lost the best job I had ever had and, I separated from my wife/kids.
Since that fateful day in August 1998 I have been trying to get back to a place where I could ensure my supply of marijuana would not be interrupted. I did fairly well from 2000-2010 as I met a friend who took good care of me 24/7 365. When he passed suddenly I found myself feeling a bit like that 19yr old guy of old. Meeting strangers in parking lots, hiding my dependence with lies about why I had to go out at odd hours and in general; feeling like a loser again all because I could not concentrate on anything except finding and having my marijuana. For two solid years I became a concentrate user solely because I could not find flower to buy.
In November 2016 the people of my State (Maine) voted to legalize recreational marijuana. Medical use has been legal here for years but “stress and anxiety” are not recognized diagnoses in this state plus, I have a sensitive job and was reluctant to “be on record” as a medical MJ user. By January 1st of 2017 I had a wish list of supplies and space needed in the house and had gone way out on a limb and order 6 seeds online (blindly) from an unknown broker overseas. I was very nervous and leery about committing such cash to a possibly illegal and untrustworthy process. I did eventually get the beans three months later but in the interim, I found ILGM (thank you Robert Bergman).
Thank goodness I found ILGM and the forum of experienced growers here!! As soon as items started arriving for my grow operation I realized, I flew by the seat of my pant’s when I grew in the ‘90’s and after a bit of reading on ILGM, I realized I was a complete NOOB all over again. I joined the ILGM forum on May 5th, I dropped three of my beans on May 17th and on June 7th I started a grow journal on ILGM’s forum at the recommendation of a friend and mentor acquaintance met on ILGM. I had been asking questions and meeting new people in the forums and had been discussing my plans when @bob31 recommended I start my own journal for tracking and assistance. So much expertise and friendly advice and constructive criticism was available and I took advantage of and used it all. Input from ILGM staff and volunteers, experienced growers, other new to growing folks and the ability to explore other grow journals was INVALUABLE.
I harvested my first crop beginning on September 13th thanks in large part to the ILGM forum and my ability to seek guidance and assistance from ILGM experts. There is not a more friendly, knowledgeable or committed group of like minded folks anywhere on the net that I have found, than those right here at ILGM. Thanks very much to all of you.
Thank You, ILGM. Thank you, @RobertBergman . Thank you, @Latewood . Special Thank You to @Rugar89 @North_East_Newbie @Willd @bob31 @Covertgrower @Patsbasement @AnneBonny @Donaldj and many many more who followed along (and continue to do so) in my current grow (2nd) which included 2 Blueberry Auto’s purchased from ILGM during their 10 plus 10 sale earlier this year.
Thank you!


@Screwauger It was all those snowmobile pictures that did me in! Glad we crossed paths back in June, buddy! Thanks for posting!


Your story is amazing @Screwauger and I am thankful you persevered through such difficult times and found the forum. You and I joined on the same day, cinco de mayo, so I am honored to share an anniversary with you. I’m still a noob myself and am glad I was able to be apart of your grow. Here’s to many more!


Thanks very much. @bob31 @AnneBonny and all of the other posters in this thread. Thank you for sharing.

As most probably did, I labored a bit over posting such info.
So many folks get such relief from so many of life’s difficulties as a result of this plant; mine seemed silly at first.
This forum, the friends and folks who use it, and the comfort and protection of ordering through ILGM have provided me relief as well. A different kind of relief but relief just the same.
I sincerely do not think I would be where I am today if not for you folks and ILGM. My GF has trust issues as her last partner cheated on her. He would do things like go out for smokes at 9pm. I was having to meet dudes at 10 and often wait 45 minutes…it was not a good situation and is likely one of the reasons she is so supportive of my growing my own. Well, and it’s legal and that helps a lot.

Thanks and I am going to get busy and read other folks posts. I’ve been very busy with work, family and sick plants of late to really keep up with my subscriptions here. lol


Wow!That was an awesome read,I wished I could remember long enough to not forget what I am trying to say before I get a few words typed.when reading this I could feel the love of a community and being on this site is like hanging out with a faceless friend,keyword Friend.


@latewood thanks. I speak the truth and from the heart :heart:


TDubWilly, I feel like you should play the harmonica…

Thanks for the Xmas song :wink:

Would you give me permission to put that to music? Now to be upfront; I may have to edit a word or phrase to make it fit the music. Very cool! puhpuhpuh…please :kissing_heart: :santa:


Lol do as you please @latewood. I had to overcome writer’s block with gold leaf so that makes Robert half owner anyways


I am moved by your stories. We will announce prizes asap. On behalf of all the Staff here at ILGM who work so diligently in an attempt to guide you to grow successfully from start to finish; I applaud you all for growing successfully. :+1:

Without the dedication of ILGM’s entire support staff, our volunteers, mentors, the moderators, and of course our membership who have learned and grown and helped all new members in the most friendly way allowing our community to flourish; We would be like all the other Cannabis websites. Thanks to all of you for helping us all to make the greatest community on the W3.

Last; I want to thank Robert for calling me on the phone 3 years ago and asking me to be here for you all.

I wanted to elaborate but, it all seems to come out sounding corny…

Love you all. Happy Holidays. Your fearless :santa:


I’m truly amazed at everyone’s story much love to you all :heart:


Welcome Brother! Glad to have met you and despite all that has taken place, you’re here now and I and others are here to help in any way feasible. Happy Growing!


Fantastic! Thank you AB, very much. I had a personal experience/exposure to Fibromyalgia about 20 yrs ago. It was difficult to say the least. So happy to hear of your continued success! Anytime, just give a tag!!


Thanks . Glad to be a small part of this community… :heart: to u all!
Thanks to everyone that shared,liked,commented,l and supported this​:sunglasses::v:


I find myself almost speechless after reading these testimonials and then the response after. All of you are "COMPLETELY AMAZING " It has made me a better person to have meet you all through this one of a kind forum in which we all have @latewood to thank "THANK YOU ROGER ’ AKA

                                    "  FEARLESS LEADER " 

I also would like to take this time to thank all of you who were there through my hard times and the good times " THANK YOU EVERYONE " for your support.
And a big cheer to @Donaldj and @Hogmaster and @BOB31 and @Countryboyjvd1971
@Dumme you guys are simply Awesome !

I look forward to more testimonials so keep’em coming