Oh my …
My first wife died of poison mushrooms.
My second wife died of poison mushrooms.
My third wife died of a broken neck cause she wouldn’t eat the mushrooms.
W C Fields
All these years and i finally discovered the secret to growing good weed.https://www.adn.com/nation-world/2018/01/30/toronto-police-charge-landscaper-as-serial-killer-find-human-remains-in-flower-pots/
WTF! What a crazy story… wonder how many they will find
Oh man a cheese truck just crashed in front of my house da brie everywhere
Johnny’s mom walks in and catches Johnny having “alone time” with himself.
Mom says “If you keep doing that, you’ll go blind!”
Johnny says “Can I, at least, do it until I need glasses?”
Joke: Miss Beatrice, the church organist, was in her eighties and had never been married. She was admired for sweetness and kindness to all.
One afternoon the pastor came to call on her and she showed him into her quaint sitting room. She invited him to have a seat while she prepared tea.
As he sat facing her old pump organ, the young minister noticed a cut-glass bowl sitting on top of it. The bowl was filled with water. In the water
floated, of all things, a condom!
When she returned with tea and scones, they began to chat. The pastor tried to stifle his curiosity about the bowl of water and its strange floater, but soon it got the better of him and he could no longer resist. “Miss Beatrice”, he said, “I wonder if you would tell me about this?” pointing to the bowl.
“Oh, yes” she replied, "isn’t it wonderful? I was walking through the park a few months ago and I found this little package on the ground. The
directions said to place it on the organ, keep it wet and that it would prevent the spread of disease. Do you know I haven’t had the flu all winter!"
The pastor fainted.
A boy asks his Dad one day, “Dad, why is my sister called Paris?”
His Dad replies, “Because she was conceived in Paris.”
The boy says, “Ahh, thanks Dad.”
His Dad says, “You’re welcome, Backseat.”