Only joking around

Only joking…
A man was being tailgated by a stressed out woman on a busy boulevard. Suddenly, the light turned yellow, just in front of him.

He did the right thing, stopping at the crosswalk, even though he could have beaten the red light by accelerating through the intersection.

The tailgating woman hit the roof, and the horn, screaming in frustration as she missed her chance to get through the intersection.

As she was still in mid-rant, she heard a tap on her window and looked up into the face of a very serious police officer. The officer ordered her to exit her car with her hands up. He took her to the police station where she was searched, finger printed, photographed, and placed in a holding cell.

After a couple of hours, a policeman approached the cell and opened the door. She was escorted back to the booking desk where the arresting officer was waiting with her personal effects.

He said, "I’m very sorry for this mistake. You see, I pulled up behind your car while you were blowing your horn, flipping off the guy in front of you, and cussing a blue streak at him. “I noticed the ‘Choose Life’ license plate holder, the ‘What Would Jesus Do’ bumper sticker, the ‘Follow Me to Sunday-School’ bumper sticker, and the chrome-plated Christian fish emblem on the trunk. Naturally, I assumed you had stolen the car.” :rofl:

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The guys’ been sneaking around the cosmetics aisle at WalMart sprinkling glitter on his testicles.
Some might call that pretty nuts!

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A drunk guy was stopped by a cop one night about 3 a.m. and he asked him why he was walking, naked on main street, the drunk says I met this girl in a bar and she took me to her house and we had a few more drinks and she said lets get naked and go to town, and here I am.

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If you’re ever in New York City, make sure to see the hotdog vending Tibetan monk and ask him to make you one with everything.

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What’s the worst thing you can do to a blind man? Leave the plunger in the toilet. :rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl:

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Did you hear about the fishin’ musician?
He plays a striped bass.

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Bass player falls overboard during a gig at sea.
Q. What do you throw him?
A. His amp

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You can lead a horticulture, but you can’t make the bitch behave.;.

What’s the worst sound in a public restroom? An Iphone camera shutter!

Hey @willd! How’s tricks? Hope all is well with you and miss the nose hits haha.

Why woman fake orgasms?, Today I found out why, they think we care…

What kind of pants do the Mario Brothers wear? Denim denim denim

The police came to my house tonight and said my dogs were chasing people on bicycles through the neighborhood. I told them that was impossible. My dogs don’t know how to ride a bicycle.

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