One for the Money, Two for the Show, Three to Get Ready and Four to Grow

I can’t mention ■■■■■■? Wells that ■■■■■■…

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So, I’ve tried posting several times in the last few days and nothing shows. It never downloads the pics and I’m thinking, what’s the use of posting without the visuals? Well this is to let you guys know that I haven’t forgotten about you. I know you are waiting with bated breath to read more about the adventures of your intrepid narrator. I shall endeavor to keep track of the pics so they aren’t out of order…

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Can someone tell me why i cant set this to watch?

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I still can’t post a pic and I’m really disappointed. I know you guys want to read more about me (I mean who wouldn’t), but I really want to post some pics.

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That sucks. What works for me is taking pictures with my phone but posting the pictures from my tablet when I post.

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@oldmarine I believe you have the writing skills to describe the pictures you want to upload !!
We can all read what they look like !! LoL

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It’s a sad day at the Smith estate. Three plants were brutalized. Of the 7 plants in the tent, 3 were autos. Guess which 3 were chosen by the monster? Yep, the ones I really wanted. I think #5 is responsible. She’s the new animal and hasn’t any respect for boundaries. A Bubble Gum was stripped of it’s leaves, a Jack Herer was snapped at the ground and a OG Kush was just gone. I took the JH and trimmed it down, cut an angle and placed it a grow cube. Does anyone know if autos stand a chance of re-rooting or am I just wasting my time?
Oh well, life goes on. Live and learn, right? As to what I’m going to do about #5, I’m thinking the Korean family down the street might want her and Karla is pushing for that. They seem to go through dogs like nobody’s business, so I really think Looney is better off here. As it stands, the other dogs, the cats and now Karla are really upset with her and she is trying to butter me up like I have any say in anything.

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RIP. Sorry for for loss. How are the other four holding up?

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I currently have 7 autos in pots. The previously mentioned BG is looking sad. 1 BG has been started with her mainline. I’m only planning on 4 colas just because I’m lazy and anxious for it to grow up. There are also 2 OG Kush and 3 Jack Herer. All but one are looking good.

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My previous post was from last week. I tried to attach some pics and it still doesn’t work. I know it’s not me and I wonder if others are having the same problem?

Some more updates on the grows. My second clone (Chloe) is sitting in my flowering tent. I really like this indoor grow thing. I’ve already harvested my first two plants this year. My brother gives the first a 7 and he’s a fella that knows a thing or two. (It might be two but don’t hold me to that.) Dad thinks I’m a genius because he can’t grow mold in the bathroom. I told him it’s a trial and error type of deal but like Bloomberg said, “anyone can be a farmer” The 3 clones I wrote of earlier all took root and are sitting in their own pots and are all looking finer than frog hairs. I took a clone from Bertha and it’s in the tent waiting on roots. There are a total of 13 plants in the veg tent and 4 left in the flowering tent. Karla has 12 plants in Karla’s Korner, I have 6 out front and 7 in undisclosed location around the county.

Another one of the new things for this year is training the plants. I’ve never had to do this before as all my grows have been outdoors. When I first started thinking about getting a tent I had a dream where my plants had grown so big they were stretching the sides and top of the tent and was growing out of the vent holes. You know that time you wake up from a dream and you still think it’s real? I was licking my lips until the let down. So, my first thought was that I would have problems because I have had 13’ tall plants before and the logistics of a tent weren’t lining up with my perceived notions. I went on YouTube and started watching grow videos.

My first plant of the year (Jan. 2nd) went into a 10 gallon pot. (I was thinking bigger is better at the time. Turns out bigger is just harder to deal with.) Turns out it was a male plant and I decided to go to 3 gallon pots and moved that one outside. (I grow my taters in 10 gallon pots. Growing your own maters and taters is a good way to spend 3 or 4 months and save $3.45.) I put Bertha in there in April (she was started in the tent in March) and she loves it. I’ve been using her to practice super cropping and LST. Turns out she is a hemp plant but, I’m growing for the CBDs so that’s OK. I really wish I could post a pic as her stalk is an awesome sight. It’s about as big around as a quarter and twist over 360 degrees. She will end up with about 13 colas and I hope she has a lot of bud.

My other autos are looking good. I started mainlining a Bubble Gum and topped an OG Kush in preparation for mainlining. I am not going to top any of the others (maybe LST) just to see what’s what.

Pita just brought me her bowl. brb…

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If any of the animals could really be considered mine, it would be Pita. P.I.T.A. as in pain in the ass. It started as pitiful but she grew into Pita. A BIG Pita. Really huge. We got her from a friend who breeds pit bulls. She is the runt of the litter and they were afraid she was not going to thrive. I guess she showed them. She’s bigger than her mother and her father is only about 5 pounds bigger. I was concerned about getting a pit bull, but I’ve trained German shepherds and dobermans as guard/attack dogs so I said I’d try. I am so glad I did. She is by far the smartest dog I’ve ever owned. She gets along with all the other animals and was the first to accept Looney. I found the hamster wet one day and I searched and searched for some leak in his water bottle. Turns out Pita was licking him. I watched from a distance one day and the crazy rodent just runs up to her and lets her lick him. I’m thinking brain damage.

Meet Chloe the clone…

I cut Chloe out of one of my Feb plants. Her and her sisters went into fabric pots as soon as they showed roots. She is currently in the flowering tent and is really stacking on the buds.

Speaking of clones, the three I took last month all took root (one slower than the others) and now reside in fabric pots in my veg tent. I plan on letting them grow for a month more and then transfer them to flower.

The new plant in the lower left is a surprise plant. I think it’s a Jack Herer that I thought didn’t sprout. I tried to find the seed and couldn’t, then put a clone in the same pot and this came up. I took the clone out and planted this in a fabric pot. Here’s hoping…

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This is the kind of stuff more people should add in their grow journals.

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This is my oldest Bubble Gum. 6 weeks and I’m done with her training. I will probably put her outside next week. I’m also think about putting an autoflower in the ground.

This is the Bubble Gum that got stripped of most of her leaves. I just left it and watered it like regular and this little bit of growth started. I’ll just leave her alone and hope for the best.

This is a bag seed plant. Not hemp so, I’m thinking ditch weed. (Hey, I’ve gotten 7% THC and 10% CBD from ditch weed.) She was outside and got stripped by some critter so I dug her up and have been nursing her for the last few weeks. I bent her stalk in half, gave her a twist to align her branches and hope she ends up with 6 colas.

Bertha turned out to be a hemp plant. She is starting to flower and I hope her CBD count is good. At the rate she’s going I stand to harvest at least 4 ounces from her, maybe 6.

Enough about the plants and animals, let’s talk about my favorite subject. ME!!!

When we left off with your intrepid narrator, he was standing outside of Camp Lejuene in North Carolina with sea bag in hand, adventure in mind, a dull ache in his lower back and a twinge between his shoulder blades. With nowhere to go and all the time to get there, he set out hitchhiking for the West Coast. I’d heard that Cher was into younger guys and had plans to jog around her estate until she noticed me, realized I was a striking example of masculinity and took me unto her bosom. A guy can lust…I mean dream, can’t he?

Have you ever realized later how you dodged a bullet? That woman is bat-shit crazy.

I spent the next 9 years gaining experience, going to school in electricity and electronics and eventually attained a degree in digital communications. Even though I was in constant pain, I maintained my love for running (the Marines will teach you to love it or hate it) and secured an invitation to Iron Man in 1990. Problem is, on Dec, 2 1989 I was in a roll over crash. I broke my back in three places and was forever relegated to the slow lane.

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I love your writing !!

Always a great read

Plants look great

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I gave the Bubble Gum it’s last haircut and a final spreading.

I really hope this works out well.

While I feel I have a lot of experience growing, all indoor techniques are new this year. I have never done clones, but immediately realized the benefits of acquiring the skill.

This is one of my latest. We call her Tammy because she started as a little “t” in a peat pot.

#3 son thought we should call her Patty. Patty in a Peat Pot to be exact. I thought it was cute him trying to emulate his old man with the catchy names. (He recognizes and is extremely grateful for my abilities in this area as he was originally going to be named Anthony Steven Smith. My quick thinking brain immediately spotted the problem vis-a-vie monogrammed towels. I tried pointing this out to his maternal unit and was immediately told that,“Well, SWS could easily be mistaken for SMS”. Years later when I told him the story he looked at me and asked,“Really?” Told him to ask his maternal unit. When he returned, he was a changed man. Does what I say when I say it. I love hearing him tell my other son, or his uncle and more so my father,“That’s not the way dad said to do it!”)

Now I’m not one to go out of my way to crush a young man’s spirit and I had no intention of discouraging him from speaking up and speaking out, but I had to point out the obvious (well obvious to me and maybe obvious to you, dear reader) problem with naming a plant after what you plant it in. I’m just saying there are quite a few “p” for pot or “d” for dirt or “c” for coco-coir names and you have an inordinate number of suitable names that are themselves names of flowers but that just won’t do. (If that’s not obvious to you, dear reader, then I can only say, my OCD, my rules). So I said to him,“Skandar Wetwang Smith, I thought I taught you to look deeper into the nature of the work. No matter the craft or the material, the true oneness with an item can only be achieved through proper focus of the inner being of the artist. The work is nothing without the man and the man is nothing without the work.”

I got him a stool and made him sit in front of the plant and told him to concentrate not on the plant as it is now, but in the plant of the future. The plant in his mind after he allows it to grow. I said, “Imagine yourself taking care of the plant day to day. Watering. Trimming. Feeding. Training. Imagine the roots growing into the soil. Filling the pot in search of anchor and moisture. Imagine the plant stretching up. Always seeking the light. Unknowingly trying to achieve it’s true purpose. Longing to become…” (I’m paraphrasing obviously. I don’t remember the exact words I used but I can assure you they were quite profound.)

Leaving him alone, I went and filled a bowl (cereal), rolled a smoke (tobacco), rolled a joint (ankle) and then smoked a marijuana cigarette (homegrown). I went back to look in on him and he was squatting over the plant, his face screwed up and turning purple. I gently said,“You just need to relax and it will come to you.” He looked up at me and I could see a tear forming in the corner of his eye and the look of yearning on his face. “What is it?”, I asked. “Is the future plant speaking to you?” With a quavering voice he said,“No, I need to go to the bathroom.”

This is Tammy just a few weeks after her naming.

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I was informed (along with many others) by someone (I won’t name names but it rhymes with dead meat) that I had pictured Tammy in an earlier post without proper introductions and I apologize.

I apologize to Tammy. It was insensitive and displayed a lack of caring that bordered on criminal neglect. I won’t try to mitigate my guilt with excuses. I have none. I am the lowest of the low and deserve no pity or mercy. I won’t try to blame my unfamiliarity with the ILGM board. I won’t plead borderline senility or the fact that I was probably stoned at the time. I can assure you that I have located the “a”,“m”,“t” and “y” keys and have gone so far as to mark them with little heart and kissy lip stickers so I am always reminded of our love.

I apologize to Kathy for calling her names all those years ago. Our phone call last night moved me to remember the good times of our youth when we were happiest and I came to realize that the slights on the playground in 3rd grade can cause long reaching and long lasting psychological trauma. I did not point you out at the 50th class reunion and call you any name. Bill Schrader asked who you were and I said, “Kathy. Kathy Sheffleberg.” and he said, “Oh you mean K-k-katty St-st-st-stutterbird?”

I apologize to the readers for not being 100% on my game. It’s not fair to you when I drop the ball. If I’m not hitting for the grandstands every time I get up to bat, maybe I should just go coach Little League. I’ll just be the fat guy sitting in the dugout at a “T”-ball game. Waiting for the little snot-nosed, pampered brats to take their participation trophies, load up in their pompous parent’s mini-van and shag off. I won’t be that guy. I refuse to be that guy. I promise you, dear reader, that when I step onto the field and take my place at the plate, I will be swinging for the homerun, knocking it out of the park, take your choice of similes. Seriously, choose any…

  • homer

  • HR

  • dinger

  • tater

  • goner

  • blast

  • bomb

  • big fly

  • deep fly

  • wallop

  • shot

  • moon shot

  • cannon shot

  • Ruthian blast

  • round tripper

  • four bagger

  • four-base hit

  • four-base knock

  • touch 'em all

  • went deep

  • circuit clout

  • going yard

  • leaving the yard

  • yardwork

  • long ball

  • jack

  • drive

  • kiss it goodbye

  • grand slam

  • slam

  • grand salami

  • GRSL

Any and all of these I promise and I don’t even like playing baseball.

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Someone got some sticky stuff on my keyboard. Good thing I keep important stuff separate on my computer. All anyone else can do is play games.

The following pics are in my cache this morning with instructions to upload them to this blog with the attached descriptions.

Little “t” straight out of the cloning area and settling into her new home

Starting to test her wings. Mother was on hand to lend encouragement,

Little “t”'s mother (Tripod Tracy) forced into flowering, leaving her all alone.

Strapped down and not allowed to reach her full potential.

While her sisters have a new home in Karla’s Korner.

FREE TAMMY TO KARLA’S KORNER…

OK enough with that nonsense. I moved the three newest clones outside today. East Texas soil is basically all the dust that blows through Oklahoma settling on it’s way to Mexico. Some people call it sand but I’ve been on a beach and I’ve emptied a vacuum cleaner and I know the difference. We dig a square hole (my rules, remember), soak the hole with water, add some compost soil, sprinkle some mycorrhizae, put the plant in the hole and back fill with compost soil. Easy peasy japanesey…

Also, we moved the flowering tent downstairs because it was just too hot upstairs…

Everybody got fed, soaked and pruned. I like to think that I pamper my plants.

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Update on the stripped outdoor plant. Since it’s not one of the autoflowers I didn’t worry about the pruning and bending. If the lower branches don’t grow soon, I will just trim them and go with the two colas. Maybe some more clones. It’s like raising your own minions…

This is the oldest OG Kush. I plan on keeping the upper branches pinned low and allow the lowers to catch up. If everything works right it’ll end up with 12 colas.

Speaking of cloning, I thought I might give a quick tutorial on how I choose seeds to plant.

These are cannabis seeds.

I always pick the largest of the seeds. Notice the colors go from darker to lighter? Doesn’t mean diddly. Start by placing the seed between thumb and forefinger. Gently rub the seed, knocking off any residual flower and feeling for cracks. There should be one hump and no depressions. Anything else and discard the seed. Now slowly increase the pressure while rolling the seed between your fingers. You’re feeling for cracks and shifting. If the hull shifts you’ve got a seed that wasn’t being protected. I usually do this all in one motion with 5 or 6 seconds spent on each seed. I’m not saying to try and crush the seed (and I’m not saying you should do any of this on any purchased seeds), but I’ve got a near 100% germination rate on my selected seeds and that’s what I usually do. Try to crush them that is.

I know, I’m a monster…

The above seeds are my next grow. I will keep the two biggest for the tent grow and place the others in the korner.

The Bubble Gum is showing her sex so it’s time to name her.
frannie

I’ve only got two plants left in two gallon pots (they’re just not big enough for a standard grow). I plan on moving them out this week. I’ll use the 2s for my pepper plants. A dozen should be enough.

I’ve just been notified of a family meeting. I’ll keep you guys updated…

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The original was supposed to read “outdoor, stealth and guerrilla grows”. Since it’s in the back yard it’s just outdoor.

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I’ve been away from this thread too long :slightly_frowning_face:. I’m going to put my book down and read your novel, sorry journal instead. Far more entertaining :blush:

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