One for the Money, Two for the Show, Three to Get Ready and Four to Grow

Howdy from the Republic of Texas! This is by no means my first grow. But like most of my recent grows there are a lot of first. This is my first autoflower grow. That’s them (day 2) in the back on the bottom shelf.

I wasn’t sure if I should post and I thought the title was catchy and right off the bat I’m told it matches a previous topic. Well, I liked it when I thought of it. I put my own little twist to it and here we are.

First a little about yours truly. I am a native born Texican. What that means is I don’t consider Taco Bell to be “Mexican” food, I know that BBQ and grilling are two totally different things and I don’t suffer people who disparage the great state of Texas. I won’t do so you with your state (unless you’re from Alaska and then all bets are off).

Now I realize that you probably aren’t reading this to learn about your’s truly so I’ll post current picture of this year’s mom plant.

She’s a feisty little number I’ve cooked up for this year’s festivities. She’s sitting in a 3 gallon fabric pot (fabric pots are new this year) with a mixture of half coco coir and half Black Cow manure/worm dirt with a handful of perlite per gallon. I feed her and her sisters only organically with fish emulsion mixed with either rain water or spring water ph @ 7. I add 1.5 ml of cal/mag to each gallon. All my plants are watered with 150-450 ml calmag water every other day or so. Saturday they all get a good soak feed. My in ground plants are a whole other can of worms so to speak and I won’t get into that here.

I was born in Houston in 1960 and am currently a few days shy of my 60th birthday. I grew up in Humble, a small city north of Houston. A few days after my 14th birthday, I was thrown to the ground and stomped on by a 200+ lb adult. This was the cause of the first of three back injuries. I quit school at 17 and joined the Marines. I honestly didn’t know what a Marine was and probably could have saved myself a lot of pain and suffering and waited a year to join the army or navy. But, I needed to leave and this was the fastest way out the door. I suffered a sprain in my lower back in late '78.

I’m starting this topic on day 8 and I am amazed at the growth. I don’t know why I expected anything less with an 8 week flower. They will take their first day in the sun tomorrow. Yes it’s an indoor grow but I think the plant needs the sun

I missed posting this last night and I’ve been busy today. Let me just leave this here for now and I’ll report in later.

Day 9 and their first real sunshine. Pita is not impressed

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Looking good , nice beginning.

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Welcome fellow Houstonian! Nice looking mainline in that second pic!

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Excellence! I’m watching this one!

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Thanks. It’s my first try. Here’s my latest just before she gets another haircut. All the big leaves have to go…

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So today was a doozy. Whenever a storm system moves in my back goes to singing. Not some Italian opera nonsense either. More like Ozzie, Alice and Elton teaming up for a punk version of “The Bitch is Back”. And that is why I grow. I grow some of my own food and I grow all of my medicine.

Indoor grow is new for me. I really just got a tent to get an early start on my maters. I sprouted my first hemp plant on Jan 9th. Marking my first first of the year. Out door stealth and guerrilla grows are my passion. Karla’s corner is full this year.

I know, I know. I can hear some of you saying,“Why Jason, you silly goose, you don’t have a corner because you live in a round house!!!” Begone I say. Leave my thread. Karla has declared it her plot and has informed all that it is a corner and I tell you now that your esteemed narrator has not gotten this far by not going along with Karla. Case closed. That’s that and enough said…

So when I left off on my tale of woe, our intrepid adventurer (your’s truly) had sustained his second back injury while in the service of his country. Shortly after, I was faced with the decision to re-enlist or strike out into the world to make my fortune. While I liked serving, I really thought I could do so much more. Climb mountains. Cure diseases. Topple 3rd world governments. Get a cat.

Speaking of worthless fur bearing animals, there are currently 3 generations of Smiths at the domes, totaling 6 people, 5 dogs (I can’t believe I just typed that), three cats and a very nervous hamster.

I’d like to say that all is peaceful at the homestead but my contract with the hamster requires full disclosure.

Our newest addition (A FIFTH DOG OMG!!!) is a black lab mix. (My money’s on a mix of meth lab.) When I discovered her barking at the dust motes her moniker became official. She is Looney Tunes Smith the 5th. She believes the aforementioned cats are some strange species specifically plotting her demise. I tried telling her to not take it personal as the cats are trying to bring us all down, but she’s having none of it. I overheard the cats and it’s not looking good for #5. I’d really hate to see her go. I’ll miss the constant wet dog smell (did I mention she’s a lab?) and the ankle twisting holes in my walkways. I’m gonna stay out of any further brouhaha mainly because it will end badly and all involved will have to deal with my wife and I make it a point to never deal with my wife.

This is Freddy laying on Pita.

Freddy was dropped off by a niece for my youngest brother (All you single ladies looking for a broke (in more ways than one) 56 year old white man with all his shots be sure to let me know), Freddy was beyond skittish. He was about 1/4 of Pita’s size and she scared the holy hell out of him. His first night in the domes he let out one of the most mournful howls I’ve ever heard outside of a Marine messhall. I got up, found him huddle in the side (there’s no corners in a dome, remember?) and picked him up. He was shivering and shaking. I rub his jaw and he leaned into my hand. Yeah, he’s my dog now and he follows me everywhere. Except if Karla’s around because she feeds them. And if they aren’t chasing rabbits or buzzards (Yes, my dogs chase migrating buzzards. They don’t actually catch them or nothing like that but don’t they just bark and bark and bark. Don’t they though.) So except for those and his numerous naps and his forays down the road to beg a treat from a neighbor and all the time he spends ignoring me he’s basically my shadow.

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This is pretty much the best thing on the ol’ interwebs right now. You sure can spin a yarn friend!

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That was a great start to the story. I’m gonna tag along for the grow!

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nice story! Im afraid that grow is not all that guerilla! I can see your plants clear as crystal! What type of Marijuana are you sporting in the backyard?

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Happy Birthday :fireworks: :firecracker: :clinking_glasses: :beers: :tumbler_glass:
I’m gonna tag along as well, that is, if you don’t mind :v:

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Happy birthday :birthday::wine_glass::birthday::birthday:. Going to tag along as well as I just love a good yarn. I’m with @Cannabian here, your covert grow is kinda overt :sunglasses:. Love the dogs, cats are not for me, they screw you over purely because it’s Wednesday and the dogs know this, so does the hamster :face_with_monocle::see_no_evil::rofl:

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I’m set to watch. Looking great.

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Look, if you’re gonna start questions about Karla’s corner (I’m thinking about making a sign. Should I spell corner with a “K” instead? Wouldn’t that be kooky?), I’m gonna have to turn this over to Karla and I don’t think any of us want that. Do we? Huh? I didn’t thinks so…

I’ve reached the dgaf stage in my life.


This is Bertha. She sits in a 10 gallon fabric pot on a stone table in my front yard.

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For those wondering of our current crop’s pedigree, other than our recent purchase of Auto Mix 2.0, all of our flowers fall into the same category. Other than “comes from a really good bag” or “this smells just like (insert favorite fruit name here)”, there are no provenances (that’s just a fancy way of saying I don’t know).

Now back to what you are really here for. More about me and my battles with the demons that are trying to wrest control of the Earth from the hands of good men. No? You sure? OK then. I’ll just post more pictures of the dogs and cats. Let’s see, where were we? What? Not that either? But I’ve only done the last two canines. Just wait until I get to the arrival of my youngest son. He showed up in the rain and we made him wait outside for a half hour. We told him that old people who drink Corona beer needed special precautions taken. He believed me because I put a couple of empty bottles on the porch. We laughed and laughed. Don’t worry, he’s fine. Doctor says the upper respiratory infection is looking better.

OK, OK, we’ll just do what you guys want to do.

I’d like to take this opportunity to formally introduce to the world, never before seen (outside a few comment boards) and here to tell the story herself, Bertha


We caught up with Bertha her 10 gallon fabric pot that is situated on a lovely circa 1950 Americana stone table in East Texas.

INTERVIEWER: So tell the world a little about yourself. Who is Bertha? Where do you come from? Where are you going?

BERTHA:Well thanks Jason. Can I call you Jason?

I: Actually, I’m Frank. Jason couldn’t make it today.

B: He couldn’t make it? Did he have an emergency? Oh I hope everything is alright.

I: No emergency. He just heard that there was a good deal on Corona beer because of the pandemic and is standing in line at the Walmart.

B: You mean he picked some beer instead of me? Well doesn’t that just tell a girl something.

I: I’m sure it’s not like that. And even if it is, you shouldn’t make too much out of it. Beer is just a quick and easy fix. Too much and you have a headache in the morning.

B: You’re right. I know I get bent out of shape.

I: How do you like your new home? How long have you been here?

B: I’ve lived here all my life. Two and a half months tomorrow. I’ve had several roommates and am currently sharing with a one month old (everyone remember those terrible minutes of angst?) and a cute waif about 2 weeks old.

I: Three plants in one pot? Isn’t that a little much? Some people might say that’s not healthy for you or a young plant.

B: Who says these things? I’ll have you know that we are in a very loving home. Room to let your roots grow and plenty of nutrients. Why I’ll put my ph levels and microbe population counts against anyone else’s. These same people who criticize me are the ones living in plastic pots that allow their roots to rot. It’s pathetic really.

I: Well… Yes… I … suppose. Moving on, where do you see yourself in the future? What are your plans? Any retirement get away plans?

B; Retirement? Please!!! I’m honestly just starting my good stretch and I haven’t made a decision about motherhood.

I: Motherhood? You mean like a clone?

B: Nothing like that. I was thinking about natural methods with a little help from science. But I have weeks, maybe months to think about that.

I: Well, I must say that is good to see a girl like you coming out about herself. What would you say the #1 question you get asked by your admirers?

B: Actually I’ve only heard from locals and mostly they just yell at each other. The Guatemalans next door call me Triple B.

I: Triple B.

B: Yeah. It stands for Big Budded Bertha. They’re foreigners so I don’t read much into it. Besides they’re bananas… Oh my… I’m sorry…Don’t write that I said that, please…

I: Oh we won’t…

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Happy Cake Day!

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Happy Birthday soldier!
For what its worth many of us on here have served our countries. Some of us have injuries, not all of them are visible, and some non repairable. I wish you peace and happiness not only today but for the rest of your life.
I am one of those people that find cannabis a suitable medicine, in fact, simply growing it is therapeutic. This community is a welcoming place too. So welcome and share your growing experience with us. Smoke a birthday bowl and pet yer plants!

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If I get this posting order thing wrong will someone please inform me? I"ve always relied on the kindness of strangers. It usually bites me in the butt, but here’s hoping…

Real quick intro to my cloning. These are some I took yesterday.

What’s new is I am using honey instead of a root hormone. I’m always on the look out for natural and recycling ideas/alternatives. Wait until you see the greenhouse I’m building from stacked up old soda bottles. I’ll post pics as soon as I get all of the bottles I need. Total count will be 575,392 bottles. I have a good start with 33. A couple of them are those big glass bottle before they figured out plastic was better for half gallon sizes.

Anyway, back to the clones. I took these three from my current mom plant. I chose the tallest branches and cut out the top 7 or 8 nodes. I trim off the bottom 3 or 4 nodes, dip them in honey and put them in peat cubes pre-soaked in calmag water. I cover them with cups and other than adding a cut in the bottom of the cup every couple of days (for increasing oxygen), I’ll leave them in their little homes. Next week, I’ll check them for root growth and maybe give them a trim. No roots are given another week and even full exposure. Can’t say I don’t encourage progress. Those who don’t show are relegated to the compost for the greater good.

This is my first clone this year. It’s a couple of weeks older now and currently resides in an undisclosed location.

Quick tip for those who plan on using fabric pots, don’t think of transplanting out of a fabric pot. I mean you can do it. I did it. And if I can do something anyone can do it. Except maybe get out of handcuffs when they’re locked in the back. Not everyone can do that, but I’m double jointed and a qualified locksmith.

As I said previously, this is the first year using fabric pots. I had practiced with a variety of plants last year and I really liked the root formation on my maters. Anyway, right after she showed roots I put this clone in a 2 gallon pot because I was planning on re-homing her. 2 months was all it took for her to completely fill that pot. It wasn’t that it damaged the roots or anything it’s just that it was scary tugging on the plant, in the dark, with car lights penetrating the night, thinking the next tug is gong to end with you holding a rootless stalk or the next light will be a cop with an attitude.

My goal is to get a picture of myself standing next to a plant with an American icon in the background. Walmart, Dunkin’ Donuts, Ford… That sort of thing. I presented my idea to McDonald’s as part of their “Lovin’ it” ad campaign and they said they’d get back to me. Here’s hoping, right?

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C’mon everyone! Let’s all pitch in and donate our empties! I wanna see this greenhouse built!

@oldmarine Please don’t stop writing stuff like this.

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If you must donate my favorite charity is The Widowed Orphan’s Grandson Charity. It’s a 501C corporation so they’re vetted. Anyone interested should send me a private message. All arrangements can be made including ■■■■■■, Western Union, bank transfers and small bills in a sack stashed behind the toilet…

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