I am latewood “Roger”. I am 64 and legally blind now for 10 years. I was hired to run the forum by Robert about 8 years ago, (my 2nd membership), and I ended up redesigning the forum and adding the BOM.
In November 2019 my lady of 26 years; Amy, went to the emergency room and was diagnosed with severe Ulcerative Colitis. (Despite going to Dr.s for 6 years with issues pointing to UC with no pro-per diagnosis) and IN the operating room, she died on the table twice and reportedly went through 31 pints of bloss. The following 2 weeks saw her in and out from Intensive care back to the operating room. Since then she has been housed in a nursing facilty and it has been 20 months. Of course due to Covid19 she was not allowed out or to have vistors and her operations were put on hold. She had to endure a C-Bag for months longer than normal and once it was removed, she had complications for months. So; I have been alone and have no ride due to living out in the swamp. Oh well. We are getting by,
As of May I have lost 3 close friends and an employee/Friver. 3 to Cancer and 1 to a heart attack. Who siad 2021 was going to be better than 2020…4 deaths of friends in the first 5 months of this yeat. I cannot get over grief before another friend dies.
First was “Bill” a great musician who had been away for awhile and moved back home for treatment and to play music wiht us one more time. He died painfully after a week of chemo.
Next was My driver, Ed. I had fired him,but we have nutual acquaitances, and one afternoon, he said; “I do not feel good. Call the EMS”. He was DoA with a heart attack.
As we all know my best friend Garrigan “Will” died from years of complication with Cancer, and during his last chance chemo. We had a millworks business and sold live edge slabs, tables and exotic hardwood. That is business is dead due to his fmaily not cooperating with any of his partners, etc.
About a month ago, A good friend and drummer I had played with many times over 4 decades succonbed to Cancer a few weeks after his beloved wife passed away. He was a good guy and loved by many. My "Musicians Memorial Society are putting on a memorial concert July 17. We also had a memorial for Bill.
I am so not looking forward to who is next. It could be me. Many issues over the past year.
I can barely get out of bed some days, and I hate pills, doctors and prescriptions. Lower Back, Hips, Pelvis, Knees, and a bad ankle. I can barely wokr my farm. I am and have never been a pill popper and have aleays worked things out myself, but I am not sure I can resist medical advice and treatment much longer. Needless to say; this puts me an aggravated mood at times, and I might be consodered rude, but I do not mean to be. The biggest concern though, is Diabetes. I know I am borderline, but I have been having dizzy spells and such. who knows?
I am sure many of you suffer from depression, even if you have not been diagnosed. Again, I hate popping pills, so I have not seeked pychi help. Being alone and in ocnstant pain leads me to overstay in bed daily.
I invite any of you to share things that you struggle with. I just wanted to opena discussion and to allow friends and members to understand why occasionally, I seem a bit off.
I apologize if I have offended any of you, and I hope you can forgivr. I am always attempting to help people in pain or needs. Peace.