Hi everyone, I'm new here - just soaking up the info, I appreciate the wisdom!

I finally decided to grow my own.

I’m sick and tired of paying $400 an ounce in MN. It lasts ~2-3 months, depending on if I vape it vs smoke it.

Born in 1974, I have hemophilia…and as a result, I was infected with HIV, Hep C in the '80’s. I also have restless leg syndrome (I noticed that when I was 5 years old, before I was infected).

I finally cleared my Hep C in 2018 (thanks to meds). But I find that smoking really helps the side-effects of my other meds, and it helps with RLS.

There are very few of the '80’s (and earlier) hemophiliacs left, most are worm food (from AIDS).

I ended up getting my first seeds from MSNL a month ago. I didn’t find this site until after the order.

They’re doing great though! All autos. They’ll be going into their permanent home (in the grow tent) this weekend. (they sprouted 3/3-3/4).

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You got them on a mission , nice strong rapid vigorious growth , i love these kinds , they will train great if you dont over do it & still grow aggressively .

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Thanks for sharing some of your story. Plants are lookin good

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Looking good! You may want to get them transplanted soon.

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Nice looking babies Welcome to the forum

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Welcome, @Friend ! :blush:

Looking great, they’re gonna love their new home!

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Thanks @dbrn32, they’ll be transplanted tomorrow. The White LSD plant is already smelling strong! I thought they’d only start smelling when they started flowering - not the case.

They are pretty cute though, they are starting to go to bed now (even with the light on)…leaves are dropping. It’s been fun having them next to my work station for the past few weeks. But off they go to the grow tent in the basement well room. I have a video camera to monitor everything.

The thing I’ve learned (during the first few weeks of my grow) is that there are way too many first time growers that fret too much. :slight_smile:

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@yoshi, I’m a bit of a nerd…I research the heck out of anything before moving forward.

The community has provided me with so much info, so I attempt to use it. Remember how, in the Matrix, when Neo learned Kung Fu? I’m a bit like that.

It’s actually a curse. It takes me an hour to buy pens from Target, as there is a whole section of pens to chose from. I find it crazy if you don’t read all the benefits of each pen. (I’m just kidding, kind of)

I’m not OCD, but I figure if you’re gonna do something, do your best to do your best.

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Welcome my friend!

Great hearing your very moving story.

You found the right place!

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Well said bro!!
I can’t imagine the shit you’ve been through in your life. And you have kept a great attitude about it apparently!
I hope everything goes great with your grow and Welcome to the forum!!
Very nice to have you here!

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@VirginiaGrowBoy - thanks, I’ve found that attempting to reconcile my past is a whole lot harder than actually living with HIV. It’s pretty hard to forgive (when you were an innocent 10 yr old boy). I’m working on it…it’s more a validation thing for me.

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I understand exactly what your going through my brother is in the same situation minus the hep-c. Unfortunately he’s been HIV positive for so long that the only thing left for him meds wise was test drugs and now he’s back on AZT again. The side effects of these drugs are earth shattering. Smoking has to help but according to him not much.
With him he will never forgive and had a angry heart from being infected. About 7yrs ago he had a motor cycle accident and lost a leg and that seemed to bring his anger there. You don’t ever get over it I guess. he did say he has a better passion for living after his accident.
Not that I suggest you lose a leg :joy::rofl:
Sorry trying to lighten the situation… Welcome Grommie
On a side note he became infected when they called it GRID ( gay related immune deficiency) he’s not gay so I can’t imagine the phycological effects that has .

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Welcome to the community! Looks like time for a transplant especially those being autos and the amount of growth nodes showing already. She will probably go into flower in a few weeks :love_you_gesture:

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@Friend thats my problem too , i read to much entirely i was told , how can sone life be so boring to sit in a room full of plants and just read :books: for hours , and listen to binual frequencies and tropical rain forest music :notes: and enjoy it , im that guy everyday friend .

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Same here anything that I’m at all interested in, in any way, I research the crap out of it. Im a research junkie for sure.
Welcome to the Forum @Friend, Im glad you’re here.
Cant imagine what its like for you having Hemophilia, HIV and HEP C
I grew up with a kid that had hemophilia he was always in and out of the hospital and other kids teased him a lot. One day one of the bullies at my school purposely pushed him down on the asphalt just to make him bleed. The abuse that kid went through on top of the hemophilia affected him socially big time. Then one day years later I was visiting back in my old neighborhood and saw him in his garage playing saxophone with a Blues band he had put together. During those years that he was being bullied and had no friends he started playing saxophone and was in the school marching band. I had no idea how good he was until i ran into him that day in his garage. Sadly he died when he was around 35 from HIV.
He was the only person I knew that caught HIV that wasn’t an IV drug user. I caught Hep C in the early 80s and was treated for it in 2013 before they came out with Harvoni. The treatment I went through,j " Incivec and Interferon and Ribavirin " landed me in the psych ward for a week. Shortly after that they stopped using Incivec and started using Harvoni. Luckily I was nearing the end of the treatment and have been Hep-C free since. Most of my drug using friends got Hep C and HIV and sadly almost all of them are gone. How I never got HIV is beyond me. I shared needles with most of them. I got sober at 39 by then most of them were already gone from drug overdoses or suicide. I imagine one day Ill probably die from liver failure from all those years of drug abuse. The 12 steps allowed me to reconcile my past. I have no regrets

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Thank you all! It’s so good to hear about other stories regarding being infected through the blood supply. It’s incredibly healing for me. And, I didn’t really mean to make that the subject, it was just a reason why I got into growing (that, and it’s a great medication…both for a funny giggles and for self-reflection/sleep).

To @BigItch and @plumbdand, thank you for sharing your experiences. Folks that got infected via the blood supply (hemophila, or just an accident where blood was needed), were all forgotten. The media only cares about IV drug use or gay folks.

Throughout my various therapy sessions, I’ve realized that I need to remind others about the tragedy with the hemophilia community in the 1980’s. If I don’t, who will? All those kids in my hemophilia camp in 1989 are dead. I’m the lone messenger. Just like war, where only one guy made it out alive, God is pointing me to share the story.

I also heard an amazing quote from a person on youtube…“The more you share your story, the less power it has over you.” And it’s true.

@BigItch - you post was especially heart-felt. Like your brother, I have to see an ID doctor to fill my medications. In the waiting room, I’m sitting next to gay folks, former IV drug users. I’m not judging (I certainly used to judge and blame), but I can’t relate to anyone. Your brother has every right to be angry. But that anger only hurts himself. I did laugh when you suggested I loose a leg! Especially since I ride motorcycle myself…lol! And, there were lots of acronym’s back in the day, I remember GRID, and I remember ARC (aids related complex…that was when you were between 250-500 CD4 counts).

@plumbdand - thank you as well. Thankfully, my bullies weren’t quite that sadistic. But it was really, really, really hard for me not to fight back. Back in the late '80’s early '90’s, you’d only treat/medicate yourself when you had a bleed. Today, all the kids are treating themselves prophylactically, so they all have some clotting factor in their body. Back then, even though I was a big kid (not fat, but my frame was larger), I’d have bullies attempt to pick on me. They’d trip me, they’d call me names, they’d hit me (and after school I’d have to go home and inject/treat with factor 8). But I was smart enough not to fight back. One good shot to my head or major organs might have resulted in me to bleed to death (internally). So I always felt like a wimp. FYI, I did clear Hep C. I no longer have it. I had a genotype of 3A. I went through interferon plus Ribavirin for six months back in ~2012. It didn’t work. And I totally understand what you went through! That cured most folks with genotype 1. Thankfully, Epclusa (in 2018) took care of the Hep C virus for me.

For the first 20 years of my adult life (starting at 18 years old), I lived like I was going to die. For me, it wasn’t about drugs, it was more me racking up credit card debt. I attempted to live my life quickly. Vacations, cool gadgets, et al. At 40 years old, I finally came to my senses and realized I wasn’t going to die.

And that was the moment I was forced to reflect back. That was the moment when I switched from living life to the fullest to needing to deal with all the emotions of what happened to me. That’s why I said that living with HIV is a whole lot easier than having to reconcile the past. See, when everyone tells you (including doctors) that you have a death sentence…like @BigItch said, the physiological effect is overpowering. And unfortunately, this has affected my whole life.

I refuse to be a victim. But it’s important that I deal with these feelings. I don’t want to live the rest of my life replaying this in my mind.

PS - I would’ve replied earlier, but new users can’t post more than 5? posts in the first day. Which is perfectly fine…don’t want to have spam bots here!

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Because of everyone’s support, I’d like to share one story regarding my experience being infected by HIV. I’m more interested in talking about growing, but I guess I opened a can of worms. I posted this on Quora a few years ago. I did it because I find writing and sharing healing to me - but I also want to write to make it interesting for readers:

What is something your parent said that made you die a little inside?

“You have a death sentence.”

I was born with hemophilia (1974). In the early eighties, HIV was introduced into the blood supply.

Hemophiliacs depend on the blood supply in order to stop our bleeds (our blood doesn’t have a specific clotting factor…thus our body can’t always stop internal bleeding from a bump, an accident, or even anything in particular).

As a result, I was infected by the tainted blood supply when I was 10 years old. Back then, before HIV, hemophiliacs were treated much like asthmatics or diabetics were treated. Everyone felt a bit bad for their lot in life, and were sensitive to their disease issues. That changed for hemophiliacs almost overnight. Now, they were suspect. Adults who were once warm and friendly toward me suddenly looked at me from a distance. I was 10 years old. I had no idea why.

This was a time of fear. As a boy, I recall many television news programs talking about AIDS. In the early days, they called it “gay cancer.” A lot of gay folks called it “blood cancer,” so to save face to their parents and communities (as they lay dying).

I lived through that time (during my formative teen years). In 9th grade health class, I sat in the front row sweating as the health/gym teacher told everyone that one avenue for infection was having hemophilia. I walked out of class that day in a daze — wondering who, in my small town, knew that I had hemophilia…and would connect the dots.

I miraculously left that classroom with none of my classmates being wiser (I believe).

In 11th grade, I met a girl who made my heart flutter. Like any other teen, we dated. I struggled between love and fear. I wanted to kiss, explore, etc., just like we all did.

My parents (pre-baby boomers) saw the writing on the wall. They didn’t have the emotional maturity to help me through these times (they were of the time where kids were seen, not heard). I was a smart kid, and I knew I needed to be super careful around my girlfriend (like, it was on my mind constantly).

Since I was still an (older) kid, I loved Christmas (barely 17 years old). I loved everything about it; family together, a wonderful meal, happiness, and gifts.

This Christmas Eve was different though. My older siblings weren’t quite home yet (I was so excited to see them, as they didn’t live here any longer). And, the most special part was my girlfriend would be coming over right after opening presents. I was super excited for my girlfriend to meet my siblings.

My parents were doing last-minute spot-checks/clean up (clearing wrapping paper remnants). I was just out of the shower (as we were going to church in a bit). I had my best church/Christmas clothes on, and I was walking around with a hair brush (getting my hair in order).

My dad called me downstairs (my mom was next to him). I was a teen, so I went about halfway down the stairs and sat on the landing, fooling around with the hairbrush.

I spouted off, “What, Dad?” There was a slight pause as I fumbled with the hairbrush impatiently.

He said, “You know you have a death sentence, and it would be best to be very careful around your girlfriend.”

The hairbrush I was holding unexpectedly snapped in my hands, I had broken it in half without even realizing it. I didn’t say a word, I just walked up the stairs with tears streaming down my face.

That was the last Christmas I ever felt innocent joy.

My family did meet my girlfriend that evening, it was quite uncomfortable for me.

Six hours previous, I was on top of the world. I was finally in a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship…just like everyone else. I was normal (just for a moment).

Post script - My girlfriend became my wife. That was 1991. We married in 2000. I don’t believe my parents ever realized the pain those words caused me. They do seem pretty happy I made it through though, and it wasn’t a death sentence.

The phrase my dad uttered still stings, and I’ve never really felt the joy of Christmas that I once had.

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Wow I feel for you. I look at it like this. My parents did the best they could I had to give up my resentments for everything they said or didn’t say or did or didnt do or it was gonna kill me. Was sobe 20yrs before I took up weed again for cronic pain after my Dr. said I should try cannabis because he couldn’t increase my pain med dosage. I grew a lot of pot over those years that I never got to try because I was sober at weed is frowned upon in Anonymous 12 step programs. Its been almost 24 yrs since I stuck a needle in my arm or took any drug that wasn’t recommended or prescribed by my Dr. weed for me is the best and most affective medication I take. Smoking weed after 20 yrs of abstinence it took a little time to get used to how strong the weed was. Ive had a few instances where I did too much and had some serious anxiety attacks. Thank God I knew what was happening and knew I just had to ride it out. I even laughed about it while it was happening but couldn’t do anything about it.

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Im growing some High CBD High THC strains this year It should make for some good meds. What strains are you growing

Welcome to the community looking great plants ready for a bigger home.

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