Funny MJ related work stories

Ok so im sure i’m not the ONLY one with funny stories about MJ and folks who are blatant, folks who THINK they’re slick, and folks who you’d NEVER think would, in a million years, lol. I did Amazon assemblies for a few years (exercise bikes, ellipticals, treadmills, grills, etc etc). MANY a time i came by and either they forgot what time the appointment was or thought it was one of those “cable company appointments” (we’ll be there between 12 and 5, lol). When i say 9, i mean 8:55, when i say 10 i mean 9:55. I know @oldmarine knows what i’m talking about when i say “early is on time, on time is late, and later than on time is unacceptable!” :wink: Anyway, you get there “on time” and you can hear folks say “just a minute” and scrambling noises when you ring the bell. And when you come in, it kinda smells like someone blew a bonghit in the potpourri where they tried to mask it :smiley: :smiley: :smiley: many times it was the college kids in dorms and frat/sorority houses where i’m assembling bed/desk/dresser combos and they try to mask the smell but sometimes you get that soccer mom who thinks she’s smarter than the average bear with her masking attempts and you’re thinking, nahhhh, you didn’t hide it and that surrrre smells GOOD! :slight_smile:

Ok, now the “ones you thought would NEVER!” I’m doing some blinds/curtains (with my handyman service company, not an amazon thing) and this lady has crosses on EVERY wall, pictures of Jesus, inspirational sayings on posters/prints, angel knicknacks on EVERY surface and shelf orifice, lol…and she goes to get me some batteries for the remote (yes, DECADENCE at it’s FINEST, these people ordered remote control SHADES!!!, lol) because the cheap Chinahhhh ones that came with it were D.O.A. I’m standing beside her when she opens a desk drawer and i COULDN’T HELP but notice 2 NICELY rolled blunts, one burnt about 2/3 of the way, in an ashtray, some trimming scissors and a bic lighter and she about slammed the drawer on her fingers realizing i might have SEEN that!! :smiley: :smiley: :smiley: i said “it’s ok, i’m not judging ANYone ma’am” and she explained her husband has osteo or something and she has rheumatoid and i again said "ma’am, you’re FINE, you don’t have to explain ANYthing to me :slight_smile: " and she sort of relaxed from then on, lol

Then you get to today…i’m doing this storm door (1099 work for the big blue home improvement store) and this customer comes out on his porch as i’m about finished caulking around it to leave and RIIIIIIIGHT about the time i SMELL it, he says “i’m SURRRRE glad they legalized it to where you can SMOKE at your house!!” and i’m like “mmhmm” and he’s like “You WANT SOME???” hahaha… i said "nah, i appreciate the offer, i have 3 counties to drive through on the way home and while doing jobs for L***s i’m not able to do that or i might not be doing it for them for long :wink: To ease HIS mind (so he didn’t think i was a NARC or something, hahaha, turning it down, LOL), i said “yeah, now the hardest part is WAITING TIL YOU GET HOME!!!” lol he laughed and said you know that’s right!!! :slight_smile: What’s some of YOUR funny stories involving total strangers and MJ?

EDIT** BONUS STORY from my dum-dum younger years, lol… i’m driving home, BLIND one night after burning it down with friends, and i hit a license check. I’m sitting there thinking i got this, holding my composure, the cop who comes up to MY window goes to our Church…i’m thinking now i REALLY got this, lol. I’m all talking smooth, thinking i’m running game…he said David, have you had anything to drink tonight? And i’m like COME ON (his first name), you know i don’t roll like that!!! and he said well you’re not slurring and seem to be able to answer questions pretty quickly and concisely. But have you had anything to SMOKE tonight David? and i’m like NOOOOooo, no, nothing like that either. And he’s like you SURE??? and i’m like yes sir, i think i’d know if i did. And he’s like so you don’t have anything on you and i’m getting nervous but trying to hold it together and was like NO sir! and he said what about that bowl under your leg…DING that light that goes off when you remember you stuffed that there when you FIRST saw the lights ahead…LOL. he said GO ON and get outta here, i don’t wanna see anything like that again, what would your mom & dad thinK? I said dad would KILL me! lol. Have a good night sir and drove off :wink:


Those are great!

Back in my teen years I used to think triple thick glass pipes and bongs were absolutely the only way to go…
One day I had cleaned my glass rig out and had mucked everything into a black film canister. Later that evening I was chillin in my dads favorite recliner after blazing some good black leftovers out on the porch…having stuffed the canister back in my pocket.

The next morning I awake at 6am with both my parents standing over my futon…I’m like “yea?”…teenager attitude and everything :rofl:. They’re like “get up get dressed get in the car you have 5minutes”……cue the puckering butthole….

We’re farm kids from the country we know God Guns and Good Eatin….the respect to your elders not just your parents and I’m STILL one of the few people I know that does not let my wife open doors on her own even though she’s prolly more capable than me

In the car we get out to the highway so automatically I know “we’re definitely going somewhere”….
Mother turns around from the passenger side, holding the film canister, “What’s this”…my response “what do you think it is”….I’ll never forget this answer…they thought it was heroine :face_with_symbols_over_mouth: oh snap….needless to say this is THE exact moment in time I told them I smoke….they couldn’t have been more relieved. I still went and took the piss test just to show them I’m not that kind of user…there is no moral to this story just don’t let yer stash become someone else’s problem :rofl:


Story time again, sit on down and light up. Not a real long one but a darn funny one. It’s around the time I lost this dear friend (older fellow and yeah that part isn’t funny) and all the GREAT times we had working and joking come to mind. So me and my ex business partner are renovating this 140-some year old house. It was originally a tobacco barn, then became Ting’s family home deep in these central VA foothills. Ting was the old fellow, his nickname because any given time you come by he’s out there “ting-ting-tinging” working on SOMETHING in the farm lot. The man had his hands in MANY things and ALWAYS a WAD of cash in his pocket. he knew how to hustle to make a living :wink: but make no mistake, his parents time, and his time growing up, was an old way of life, hard way of life :wink: we’re there to modernize this home so HIS grand-daughter can live there.

We’re moving this woodstove, and it’s a BEAST of a woodstove, took 4 of us to get it done. As we’re lifting and carrying a few feet then setting down again (remember Ting is older, nearing 70 and his helper is older than us and pretty out of shape), Ting fellow says “man i wish we had a piece of pipe” (to roll it on, make it easier across that hard surface floor) and his helper blurts out immediately “PEACE PIPE!! mannnn, ain’t nobody got time to be smokin’ that $#!+ we’re trying to move a WOODSTOVE!” and i about DROPPED my corner on my toes laughing… it took my business partner and the old guy another half second to second to “get it” and they about lost their corners too laughing, lol :smiley: i cherish those little moments. Those two were always “cuttin’ up” and joking which makes the day go by. You can be serious about your work and doing it right, without being so serious you miss out on some fun in life with jokes and laughter :wink: