Brian's Utopia 💚

peachfuzz-
You are right when you say nobody understands. I think there are a lot of people who can relate to what you are saying. Enlightened420 is a good friend indeed, whether or not if he has any weed. I have a couple of degrees and 2 good ears. So you tag somebody- doesn’t matter what time, there is usually somebody around at anytime. Sounds like you got a lot on your plate man. That can be so draining. All these commitments and it seems the world has gotten cold. There are good people here so vent away. About whatever is trying to eat at your soul. Maybe see about lightening your load. You are going to need some time to recharge your batteries. Whether that’s in the garden, or some other hobby you like. Try not to build mountains in your head that you can’t climb. I have all the faith that you are gonna get things turned around and and be more of who you want to be! Peace…

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I really appreciate all of you big time…
My problem is that I can’t stop drinking…
I have alot of people that love me and want me to get help…
If I can’t control myself, how will anyone ever be able to help me…
I do good for a short period of time and than I’m right back in that same hole every time…
I don’t have fun when I’m not drinking and I don’t have fun when I am drinking…
I just lost my cousin that is basically my twin to drinking a week ago…
I’m scared that I will do the same as her…
I am my worst enemy…
I believe I can get through this…
I know I’m capable…
I’ve been able to stop doing so many other things in my life , I really don’t understand why alcohol has such a strong hold on me…
Just so you all understand, I drink 99 proof alcohol and rarely get drunk…
I turn my back on the people that love me and hate myself…
I don’t make any sense to myself…
I have so many things to be happy about , but instead I’m a miserable person and nothing is making any sense…
I really do appreciate all of you…
:v::sunglasses:

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A close friend of mine just got out of rehab for drinking, it was rough, 60 days without a drop, I’m so damn proud of him, but I’m just as proud of you my friend @peachfuzz

Admitting the problem is a difficult task we must overcome, before we can accept and begin the healing process. There are no quick fixes or short cuts…
But, I can make you this promise;
If/When you decide to quit drinking, We will be here to support you every step of the way brother.

:v::green_heart: :pray:

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First step, an hardest one, you have all the support with you my friend, can I say I feel your pain… no but at 14 my d.o.c was coke, with a family member that I was driving around, got off it an substituted with pain pills at 18, i had a bad accident, so they were a phone e call away, 24 i became a father and I looked at myself an said no more, i went through seizures for months, no rehab, I kept telling myself I got myself on em in gonna beat this, an it’s so easy to turn back but you just have to keep looking forward as in today, what happened yesterday is gone, dont look down or regret, one day at a time, I promise it will get easier, we all here for ya

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That’s one of the best phrases I’ve heard in a very long time, thank you for that my brother. All peace and chicken grease🤙

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The thing is that I’ve learned is to not so much talk about your problem/problems but to listen and hear other people’s life choices and truffles they’ve been through. Me myself my doc was opiates specifically heroin and I’ve been battling this disease since I was 12 years old when I broke my sternum from coughing and they gave me cough syrup with codiene, all through middle school and high school I started stealing my family’s much needed medication to help feed my addiction at such a young age, fast forward some years, I was about to turn 18 and the day before my birthday my grandmother passed from cancer, that’s when the progression started real bad up to about 60000-75000 mgs of whatever opiate I could get my hands on, fast forward a few more years 10-17-2015 my dad passed from esophageal cancer and that’s when everyone knew that I wasn’t taking pills anymore it progressed from 2-5 packs of heroin a day to spending anywhere from $100-$750 a day. Now I’m not saying I’m better off or any better than ANYONE cuz god knows I’m not but Ive gone to rehab multiple times and it seemed to never work for me but on 12-14-19 I decided I have two kids to take care of any a wife and family that loves me more than these dealers that are accepting the food from my family’s mouths ever would so today I’m proud to say that I’m almost 18 months clean and clear from all mind altering drugs/medications accept my cannabis :grin::pray:

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Blue89-
Your story is sad, and one that I have heard before. When I was in college I became friends with a recovering girl that was almost 13 years sober. I used to go to AA meetings with her a lot. Your story is also inspiring for those out there who are similar to you. I am not going to spout off a bunch of AA stuff to you that you already know. Besides that friendship back then, I also adopted something that AA says a lot. The serenity prayer has always helped me with difficult decisions in life, as well as rough times. You have the ball rolling in the right direction, so keep up the good work. You can always tag me if you need anything. Peace…

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Thanks brother I just felt like I needed to tell my story for someone to hear cuz in all honesty there’s another saying that Ive heard a lot myself and the saying is, “you can’t keep what you have unless you give it away”. So thanks again all love and chicken grease :call_me_hand:

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Today we said goodbye to my best friend. As the tears stream down my face, I remember all of the good times and the imprint your paws left in our hearts. We will love you forever my boy :green_heart:

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I am very, very saddened by your lost my friend. He looked like an amazing boy :love_you_gesture:

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Damn My Brother Im so sorry for your loss! :cry: My Prayers are with you! :v::metal:

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Sorry my friend… :frowning::pensive::green_heart:
:v:

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@peachfuzz My Brother you are in Our Prayers also and good vibes are being sent your way! Keep on keeping on! You got this :poop:!!! :v::call_me_hand::metal:

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Thank you for your kindness my friends, it’s been a rough day…

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He looks like he was a really good boy. I’m sorry you had to lose him bro :disappointed_relieved:

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Sorry for your loss my friend …:v:

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Mrs @Unknown,

We are devastated to hear of your husbands sudden passing, Cancer is a woeful disease that doesn’t discriminate whose life it destroys.
I can only imagine what you’re going through…
We are here for you, if you need us.
Life is so fleeting, we think we have all the time in the world, then suddenly we don’t. I know in my heart of hearts that Austin will always be with you and your children

Fly with the Angels my friend,
pain shall trouble you no more :green_heart:

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Love holds no boundaries…
We expect someone to be listening in the dark , but knowone ever here’s our voice…
We are shadows in the midst of love…
No comprehension , no remorse , no understanding of what we must face…
I fight alot of demons and death is always the one that is lurking…
I’m always praying for all of the people that I’ve never even met…
And always looking over my shoulder…
He’s always waiting to get our attention…
Sending luv and prayers your way…
Cancer always seems to be the big jerk in the fight , never showing any love and never showing any mercy to the lives it destroys…
Just pain and sorrow…
I’m Truly sorry for your loss…
In such troubled times , just try to stay positive , please…
You are not the only one on this stupid spinning rock… :+1::upside_down_face::flushed::thinking::grin::wink::green_heart:
We are here as one…
If you need to talk , we are all here…
I sometimes…
Don’t know…
Need a good ear as well …
Much luv…:green_heart:
:v::sunglasses:

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Enlightened420-
People who are not dog or animal lovers just don’t get it. They don’t see the unconditional love that King had for you, and you for him. This is why we feel like part of our soul has been ripped out when it’s time to give them the peace they deserve, and to end their suffering. And even though I don’t know for sure, I bet King had a great life, and you gave him a wonderful life. All that love does come at a price. For as much as you loved King, you grieve just as much. Try to focus on the good times you shared, and that King and you were better because of the bond you had. You will continue to be in my thoughts and prayers. I wish you peace Enlightened420, as much peace as is possible under these circumstances. You can always talk to me anytime.:cry:

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Lack of self worth will be at the root of all your suffering my friend. It’s the most destructive force in the universe.
You have taken a great step forward by sharing.
The ego won’t let you do that ( share that your struggling )
Awareness is key to freedom.
The mind is a complex matter we are neither our mind or our body.
.never think or more to the point believe the thought that you can sort this situation out on your own.
Maybe you do.
My understanding of the mind tells me it’s so multidimensional and have you believing what ever it wants you to be believing and I’ve got a good hunch it’s not gunna let you give up drinking.
It may have you believe it wants you to give up drinking.
Generally this situation needs support from outside of your body and mind.
Someone with clarity no egenda some one you can trust that has the tools and experience with such situations and fully let go trust.
200% inside out side.
The desire will be to go back to what’s familiar what you know.
The mind doesn’t like anything it doesn’t know.
It feels out of control
So it takes control does what it knows best.
In your case one thing that you have brought to the table is drinking.
There will be other things it uses to hide.
It’s fucking scary letting go.
There is a net to catch you.
Don’t do it alone with your own mind it’s too invested.
Keep feeling its gunna be raw.
Not good to rely on loved ones closest to you.
Your support needs to be in real time and extremely supportive non judgmental and skilled to support what you have shared.
There is hope that you can leave this behind you.
Listen to your heart not your head even that is very tricky at first to know what is what.
Hope that’s supportive @peachfuzz

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