I broke the lifelong cycle of verbally abusing myself. I just said who ever keeps calling me stupid, and worthless, your voice is no longer tolerated here. I deserve to live life the best I can without me pointing out every little mistake and kicking myself for it. I wouldnt let you say that to my friends or my mother, so you certainly aren’t saying it to me any more. Somehow that worked, as I have not done that since. Any of my friends here on the forum can always talk to me if they’re in a bad mood or worse. Fair weather friends suck, and I try to treat everyone like I would like to be treated. So let’s all lift each other up and grow some outstanding marijuana (medicine to many). Peace…
I appreciate you Patch,
an individual after my own
Yes my friend, let’s lift each other up, together we can rise above the negativity and hatred through love and mindful thoughts
I just read thru a lot of posts and have a better understanding now of what you’ve been going thru, Oreo. Im sorry uve been struggling and hurting.
That feeling of dread, of struggles in the world . . it is very overwhelming. Perhaps u are more than an empath. For lack of the right word. . .maybe u are a little bit telepathic. Uve been open to these wavelengths and its too much.
I think u need to close all of these channels and focus inward. Heal urself.
U are right – suicidal thoughts, thoughts of giving up can be seductive. Pls write down positive affirmations and start running these tapes thru ur mind. Start with this one:
I will protect myself because Im worth it.
Healing the world begins with healing myself.
I will allow positive energy from the universe to flood my soul.
I will connect with the wisdom of shamen in the past, present and future.
Those are just a few that come to mind, but personalize it to urself. Include ones for any forgiveness u need to focus on. I mean self-forgiveness.
If this continues Oreo, i think counselling would help u process ur feelings.
Love u mate!!!
Your words touch my heart sweet Lady, thank you
This has been one of my healing processes and the reason I have been distant on the very forum that I love. I needed to regain mastery of my consciousness, to do that requires focused control over one’s mind, especially thoughts and emotions. Mastery over mindfulness if you will…
Thank you @Tenga,
I appreciate your love
P.S Patty is not what I had mentally pictured, I actually thought tenga was your name
Brother, you know that I always have your six. Like I have said before, if you ever need anyone to talk to, I’m just a text or video chat away. If you didn’t live across the pond, I would have already paid you a visit
Arrr that treadmill of the mind and how to get off.
Part of mind wants out as you have stated
Mastery of consciousness
Another part of mind wants you to continue the game.
2 parts of the same mind.
Or maybe the part of mind saying it wants out is just the same part pretending it wants clarity and mastery of consciousness.
Who would really really know.
What i know is your not going to master consciousness though controlling your mind.
Total opposite will happen.
Consciousness is not found by controlling mind consciousness is found through having a mind but its very separate indeed.
So different the 2 will never meet.
So you say you want to gain mastery of consciousness and do this by controlling your mind.
What is it that’s controlling mind if not mind itself.
Thats a hamster on a wheel.
You may get lucky and stike the jackpot slip through the cracks of mind into omnipresence but you wont know how or probably what it is when you fleeting reach it. Then its gone.
If your serious about stabilizing consciousness
There is no trying needed.
Thats the minds work.
Theres no controling either you guessed it thats the mind as well.
Any thought feeling action sound is all movement of mind.
To attain pure consciousness not just a lovely feeling during or after meditation.
Consciousness can be measured subjectively objectively in 4 states of consciousness the awake state the sleeping state the dreaming state and the state of consciousness itself.
To achieve this pure state is to surrender mind completely have no expectations as again thats the mind again coming in the back door.
Let what ever happens happen.
No trying no straining no controling.
Sit comfortably and watch the mind move is a great starting point.
Immediately there is recognition of 2 the mind moving ie thoughts and 2 that that’s watching the mind move.
That thats watching wont be mind.
This information will freak the crap out of mind as it threatens its very existence and what it’s really up too.
Creating suffering and separation at best and it does it so well.
Ultimately we are already enlightened how can we not be.
Its just the mind has us believing we are not.
To experience this state let go of the thought you want to be in that state of consciousness thats the limiting mind having your other aspect of mind think its got the best intentions for you at heart.
Mind is all about itself me me me me.
It cant really give a toss about you really or it wouldn’t play this suffering game at your expense in the first place.
Mind can and does destroy the bodies that house it and itself in the long run if you dont find how to get off the treadmill.
Get out of the forest of trees and stand in the clearing.
Find the ishayas over there they can support you.
One last thing feeling is great no matter what it is your feeling.
If you notice judgment from your self its mind just more thoughts.
Judgement from others outside your self can be a reflection of unresolved judgments you(mind) has of itself.
What do you really want more of growing in your life other than big beautiful buds.
You( mind) speaks of consciousness and the mastery and mystery of it.
So some part of your consciousness is calling you.
No mistake ive come along and challenged your calling then hay.
Your on the right track you cant not be.
What a paradox hay.
Go well be kind choose.
A while back you posted something and I meant to write it down (so I wouldn’t forget). I forgot to write it down and forget what it was you wrote. Geez, I know. It had to do with three things being in harmony. If they were in harmony you would be happy. Something like mind, body, and thought. If you remember could you get back to me? Appreciate you E- peace…
Thank you for your words of counsel my friend, they are much appreciated