Welcome to our Members Lounge

Hello to all of you dedicated active members who have made it to Level 3. This is a community lounge. We encourage you to have fun here; But, NO grow support questions! This lounge is for the lighter side of life. We also do not mind lending an ear to members who just need someone to talk to. :flushed:

Make a joke, or whatever; Always be appropriate, and treat other members with respect .

Welcome to the Lounge :smiley:

14 Likes

Nice!

BTW, Latewood, buddy, update your avatar. :stuck_out_tongue_winking_eye:

Trying to get some action in here. I asked the Boss if I can allow newer members to post here :slight_smile:

4 Likes

Hello there Mr. Stoner and Mr. Latewood,

Hers a joke for ya to start things off with a laugh.

This guy Bobby goes into the public restroom and sees this guy
standing next to the urinal. The guy has no arms. As
Bobā€™s standing there, taking care of business, he
wonders to himself how the poor wretch is going to take
a leak.

Bob finishes and starts to leave when the man asks Bob
to help him out. Being a kind soul, Bob says, ā€œAh, OK,
sure, Iā€™ll help you.ā€

The man asks, ā€œCan you unzip my zipper?ā€

Bob says, ā€œOK.ā€

Then the man says, ā€œCan you pull it out for me?ā€

Bob replies, ā€œUh, yeah, OK.ā€

Bob pulls it out and it has all kinds of mold and red
bumps, with hair clumps, rashes, moles, scabs, scars,
and reeks something awful. Then the guy asks Bob to
point it for him, and Bob points for him. Bob then
shakes it, puts it back in and zips it up.

The guy tells Bob, ā€œThanks, man, I really appreciate
it.ā€

Bob says, ā€œNo problem, but what the hellā€™s wrong with
your penis?ā€

The guy pulls his arms out of his shirt and says, "I
donā€™t know, but I ainā€™t touching it.

Kinda reminds me of the fungus i have found on my plantsā€¦lamo

Will

16 Likes

OKā€¦Good one.

A Gentleman walks into a Vickies Secret store, and upon being approached by the beautiful sales girl; He tells her he wants a really sexy ensemble for his girlfriend. She finds him this really hot red corset, gardens, and stockings. So the Gent pays for the items and heads for the door. A couple strides away from the door he stops and turns back to the sales girl, and asks; ā€œDo you have this in Blackā€?

The sales girl blushes a bit and mentions that this girlfriend is so lucky, and the Gent repliesā€¦No No, ""You misunderstood. I just would not fell right if I did not buy something for my other girlfriend across town! Now the sales girl is a bit miffed, but returns with the 2nd black ensemble. The Gent pays for it, and heads out the door.

Right at the door he stops and spins around, approaches the sales girl who no longer likes him and says; "I would feel really really bad, if I didnā€™t get something for my wife.

The sales girl blows up at him; ā€œYou Son of a Bitch, you ought to be hung.ā€

The Gentleman replied; I am!!! roflmao :smiley:

I stole this hilarious joke from Country legend Little Jimmy Dickens, when we did a concert together in Ocala, Florida; In the early 90ā€™s

9 Likes

Right on that was goodā€¦LMAO. I have heard of him. Living in Tn.
So what do you play Late.
Didnā€™t he just pass anywhere recently?
Anyway, I didnā€™t know this lounge was here till today. Nice to start with a good laugh.

Be Safe
Will

I am a Singer?Lead guitarist, and sometimes Bass player

Jimmy may have died; I am so brain dead from old age, I am not sure. He was to King of "
The Grand 'ol Opry" Played there more than any other Singer in historyā€¦I believe

1 Like

WoW thatā€™s real cool Latewood. Iā€™ve been to there Grand 'Ll Opry a few times myself. My girlfriend and I showed up in town and we were at this red light and here comes these old cars and on the side of the first car was this sign " The History Channel Across America "
Was awesome to see everyone cheering them on and cameraā€™s rolling.

Will

Pleasebe careful not to show your email; My friend.

Thank You Latewood
I had no idea it was there
I fixed it. Thanks

Will

Well members as all of you do know itā€™s Christmas time , so for some reason you wake up on Christmas Eve with your pants pulled down , and a white sticky ring around your lips , remember Santa only Cums once a year !!!

1 Like

There was a submarine sailor home on leave after a 9 month excursion , so he hits the first bar he seeā€™s and order a double burbon , as he awaits his shot of whisky , he noticed a large jar behind the bar fill with $100 bills , so as the bartender gives him his drink , he asked sparingly , whatā€™s up with the jar of hundreds ? Bartender responds and say we having a contest , and it will cost you a $100 bucks if you want to join in the contest . The sailor pulls out a hundred and say okay what is this contest you speak of , so the bartender replies you have to complete 3 obstacles , if you succeed , you win the jar of hundreds , sailor says "Hell Yeah My Kind of Action , whatā€™s number (1 )? Bartender says first you have to drink a half liter of burbon in one hour , and secondly we have a bull dog out back you have to extract his abscess tooth out , and thirdly we have a lesbian upstairs thatā€™s need a good !@#$ , to make her change her ways , Sailor replies , Heā€™ll yeah I came to the right bar , reach in his pockets and pull out his $100 and place it in the jar . Bartender started pouring the burbon whisky shots , and the sailor struggle at first , but he finally finished the last shot with a minute to spare , sailor stands up blurred vision and heads out back to pull that bull dog abscesses tooth , within minutes you hear him and dog wrestling , growling , barking , and than howling , he steps back in the bar , clothes ripped to shreds , and say bartender , "Where That Lesbian At with The abscesses Tooth !!!

12 Likes

Lol! I needed a good laugh.

I posted the first joke did you see it very top
You mite like that one.

Will

That was a good one Will! I didnā€™t notice the first several posts up there at first!

I thought you mite like it.

B Safe
Will

Weight Loss Program

A guy calls a company and orders their 5-day, 5lbs weight loss program.

The next day, thereā€™s a knock on the door and there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19 year old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike running shoes and a sign around her neckā€¦

She introduces herself as a representative of the weight loss company. The sign reads, ā€œIf you can catch me, you can have me.ā€

Without a second thought, he takes off after her. A few miles later puffing and puffing, he finally gives up. The same girl shows up for the next four days and the same thing happens. On the fifth day, he weighs himself and is delighted to find he has lost 5lbs as promised.

He calls the company and orders their 5-day/10lbs program. The next day thereā€™s a knock at the door and there stands the most stunning, beautiful, sexy woman he has ever seen in his life. She is wearing nothing but Reebok running shoes and a sign around her neck that reads, ā€œIf you catch me you can have meā€.

Well, heā€™s out the door after her like a shot. This girl is in excellent shape and he does his best, but no such luck. So for the next four days, the same routine happens with him gradually getting in better and better shape.

Much to his delight on the fifth day when he weighs himself, he discovers that he has lost another 10lbs as promised. He decides to go for broke and calls the company to order the 7-day/25 lbs program.

ā€œAre you sure?ā€ asks the representative on the phone. ā€œThis is our most rigorous program.ā€ ā€œAbsolutely,ā€ he replies, ā€œI havenā€™t felt this good in years.ā€

The next day thereā€™s a knock at the door; and when he opens it he finds a huge muscular guy standing there wearing nothing but pink running shoes and a sign around his neck that reads, ā€œIf I catch you, you are mine.ā€

He lost 33 lbs that weekā€¦

8 Likes

There were a newly wed couple that just got married and the husband told the wife , hey gal we going coon hunting for our honey moon . The wife responded , like hell we are , Iā€™m not going coon hunting , youā€™ve lost your damn mind . The husband said look here we going coon hunting , and thatā€™s final or you gone do 2 things ; (1) you gone give me some head right here in the yard , or (2) Iā€™m !@#$ing you in your tight ass , you got it , so when I get back from getting blue , you best have an answer okay , she mumbles enough for him to hear her , and said Iā€™m not going coon hunting damn that , So the husband takes off to the blue tick hound dog kennel . About 20 minutes later he comes from behind the house and yells loudly , Hey Gal ; So whatā€™s itā€™s gone be huh , you ready right ? She shakes her head no , walks up to him and unzips the husband pants , pulls out his dilly wackier and goes to give him head outside right next to the truck , and right as she started to suck him off , she smelled a real bad stench , and Says Hey ; Why the hell your dick smell like shit ? Husband responses and says ; Hell Blue didnā€™t want to go coon hunting either ā€¦,ā€¦The moral of that story , Poor Blue didnā€™t get any options ā€¦Lmao !!!

1 Like

On every Saturday night a midget , a little guy liked going to this hot club on Memorial Blvd , cause itā€™s was always more hot women there on Saturdays than any other night . So the midget at the bar drinking Ice Cold Coors light , having great conversation with 2 Gals , than suddenly he had to piss . Midget takes off and goes into the menā€™s restroom , walks up to the urinal thatā€™s all the way to the floor , which left the urinal that was high up on the wall open for someone else , so a guy 6ā€™8 walks in the restroom while the midget stood next to him draining his Peter . So the midget looks to his right and the first thing he saw ; Was the guy next him big hung Cock , and looks up to the guy and says ; Hey by the way whatā€™s your name ? The guys responses in a real heavy tone to the little midget ; My name is "Ben Brown " real loud ! Suddenly the midget passes out on the floor , all you here is a thump , his head gash open a little , blood start pouring , and Ben Brown panic , he leaves his big hung Peter out , but hurry to pick the little midget up off the floor , carries him to the sink , splashes water in his face , and rinse the blood off to view the size of the wound , midget no responses , so the guy splashes more water In the midget face ; and the midget wakes up , spitting and frantically wiping his face with his eye bucked wide open , and the guy Ben Brown ask the midget , Are you okay , mane hay happen , I told you my name and you past out , like what happened ? The Midget softly says , dude I thought you told me to ā€œBend Down !!!ā€ Lol I guess the midget rather die than to be f@#$ed by Ben Brown !!!

2 Likes

LMAOā€¦thatā€™s goodā€¦real goodā€¦LOL

Will

1 Like