What’s white and crawls up your leg?
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Uncle Ben’s perverted rice.
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What is a stoners idea of a balanced diet?
Lemme have it.
Wake-n-bake and couch-lock cocktail!
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Kush and OJ 
A joint in each hand. har har har
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Corned beef HASH?
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Why is santa always smiling? Because he knows all the naughty bitches… 
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And now we know where ho-ho-ho comes from.
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Oh man, these jokes are AWFUL!
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What did the fish say when he ran into a wall?
Dam
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What do you call a deer with no eyes?
I have no idear
A little boy walks into his parents’ room to see his mom on top of his dad bouncing up and down. The mom sees her son and quickly dismounts, worried about what her son has seen. She dresses quickly and goes to find him. The son sees his mom and asks, “What were you and Dad doing?” The mother replies, “Well you know your dad has a big tummy and sometimes I have to get on top of it to help flatten it.” “You’re wasting your time,” said the boy. “Why is that?” asked his mom, puzzled. "Well when you go shopping the lady next door comes over and gets on her knees and blows it right back up.
garrigan62
4 Likes
whats the difference between a pregnant women and a light bulb? You can unscrew a light bulb
A father and his 6-year-old son are walking down the street, and they come across two dogs having sex. The boy is shocked by what he sees and asks his father “Daddy, what are they doing?” The father, not wanting to lie to his son, says “they’re just making a puppy.” “OK” says the son, and the father is relieved that he doesn’t probe further. The next day, the son bursts into his parents’ room and sees them having sex. The father jumps up and quickly covers himself. Knowing he’s in for an interesting talk, walks downstairs with him and they sit at the dining room table. His son asks him “Daddy, what were you and mommy doing?” Again, wanting to be honest with his son, he says “me and mommy were making a baby.” His son pauses for a moment, thinking, and then replies “flip mommy over, I want a puppy!”
garrigan62
8 Likes
Lol That’s a pretty good one too
Whats the ultimate rejection? When your hand falls asleep while you’re masterbating. 
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Yeah that’s a good one
1 Like